Love

1 Corinthians 13:4–8a
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails ... (NIV)

Love is such a complex word. Have you ever really taken the time to sit and think about it? It explains so many feelings and can mean so many different things to different people. It can describe feelings between you and ice cream, and even describe feelings between you and another human being.
I expected to come into college last year and find love, the type of romantic love that comes from a man. I am a die hard romantic and wanted to be swept up off my feet by that amazing tall dark and handsome man who sits mysteriously in the back of the class. Looking back I now know why that didn't happen. God wanted to get close to me again. I had lost him for a little while back at the end of high school and ended up viewing praying as just a chore that I needed to do every night and I probably didn't look upon God with enough love.
God gave the most crucial thing up in his life, his son Jesus Christ, to show how much he loved me. The fact that I am on Earth wanting to be pursued by a man who is not God is so selfish because if I would take the time to look behind me, there is God constantly pursuing a relationship with me, wanting to love me, and wanting to be there just like he always has.
So last year I got the opportunity to make life long friends and grow closer to God through a weekly service at Blue Ridge Church, and through a campus outreach program here at Virginia Tech called YoungLife. I regret nothing from last year and realized that I needed to do too much with myself to handle another person in my life, on the romantic level.
It is officially the second day of classes here at school and I find myself desperately grasping for love. I want to fall in love so bad and look at girls who attract men instantly and get jealous. I wonder if it's so ridiculous to just want a guy to hold my hand, tell me I am beautiful, and who will always be a phone call away. But then I get more specific.... I want a man who loves and knows Jesus because I truly believe that if a relationship between a man and a woman is centered around God than it almost can't fail and will prove to provide the strongest bonds. And of course I need a man who can handle my complex mood swings and tendency to constantly want to laugh.
I know what I have to do in this situation but sadly that does not make it any easier. I have to completely give this over to God. I have relinquish all of wants and needs in all my life, but especially in this area to God. I have to let Him lead me towards this guy I want in my life. And if that time for me to fall in love is not right now, I need to just accept it and trust that God's plan is better than any plan I have for my life.
This romantic love that I crave is not of the sexual kind which is also why I need to give this up to God. I have pledged that I will only be with one man, and that man is my husband. I don't crave the relationships that last only a month and are purely physical.
I push you to think about what you crave. Is it a commitment between a man a woman? Is it a relationship that would be helpful in your relationship with God? Is it something that will inhibit you, or help you grow.
As I look to my future, I pray so hard that the love that I want so badly is there and in the meantime I just have to trust in God, that when the time comes I will be ready. For now, single ready to mingle me, will just have to focus on growing my relationship with the most important man in my life, Jesus Christ.