I believe there is a difference between best friends and soul mate friends. Soul mate friends are the ones you call at 3am when you are emotionally distraught and just want to cry. Soul mate friends are the ones where no matter how long the time is between conversations, you can pick up right where you left off. Soul mate friends are comfortable with silence and sometimes know that silence without loneliness is the best gift that you can give somebody. Soul mate friends are super easy to keep - you cannot push them away and getting along is second nature. I am lucky enough to have two true soul mate friends right now. Those friends are cornerstones in my life and my life would not be complete without them.
Best friends are important as well but those relationships can be hard. I got into a fight with a best friend last night and while a friendship takes two people, I am only ever the one willing to apologize and willing to change. This person is someone who is a very good friend to me but when I picture my life long term, I do not particularly seem them in it. I see them probably at my wedding but not around my children or growing old with me. Best friends are hard because sometimes you have to work so hard to make things work and it might not be worth it, or you may not get enough to make you stay.
God sends angels into our life. They bring life, love, laughter, and help you just to bear the burden of life sometimes. I think those are soul mate friends, or at least have been for me. Best friends may come and go, but each friend works to bring an important lesson in your life. Thanks God for those soul mate friends, those girls I can just be 110% myself around, and the girls who will be there for me, no matter what.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Friday, November 22, 2013
Never Alone
Okay I am going out on a limb here and being a super stereotypical 19 year old. I am uber obsessed with One Tree Hill. Like watch all the episodes on Netflix, want to be Brooke Davis, and team Peyton and Lucas. Pretty much in love with the whole show. If you have ever been lucky enough to watch or keep up with the show (if you are into high school drama between cheerleaders and basketball players I definitely recommend it!) you know one of Peyton's majors themes that she talks about is that people always leave. From her mom passing away, to an on again off again relationship with Lucas Scott, she mentality learns to not to get too attached to someone and always expect them to devastate you and leave you eventually.
As Christians, we are reminded that God is always with us, and like Santa, he is always watching us. One great thing about knowing Jesus is that we are never alone, and He will never leave us. How cool is it to know that we will literally always have a friend, always have someone loving us, always have someone looking out for us. Naturally though, we want to forge our own path. We want to discover our great adventure and go out on our business with relying on Jesus to get us through. Like Peyton, we don't want to fully trust something or give ourselves fully to someone. But we need to realize that can and should fully trust Christ. We must give our life over to him completely and completely trust him to do what is right for us. Now this by no means mean that I am telling you this and not doing it myself. Honestly, this is really hard for me. From school to relationships, I constantly want to fight God tooth and nail and make my own decisions instead of giving my heart fully to Christ and letting him direct my path. A year ago, about this time, I was really involved and participating in training to become a YoungLife leader. I wanted to go out and preach the message to middle and high schoolers in hope that they would choose to follow Jesus. As this process progressed, I felt more and more like this was something that maybe I was not meant to do. Something just felt wrong about it, so I started praying about it. I was able to give that problem to God so that he could help me make the decision. Long story short, God showed me that it was not my path. I was, and am supposed to volunteer at the church I go to, Blue Ridge Church and help with Sunday school. I may never know why God did not choose me to be a YoungLife leader, but I am so thankful that I gave that problem over to him and He helped me make the right decision. Who knows where I would if I have become a YoungLife leader. God also made sure that through this decision I would not lose friends. I am still friends with every single person I made during that training and that Christian support chain has been life altering. Giving our problems over to God completely is very hard for us to do. But when we do it, it is liberating and works to bring us closer to God. Have a great day people, God is rooting for you!
BTW - I love post season 4 Brook Davis the most. :)
As Christians, we are reminded that God is always with us, and like Santa, he is always watching us. One great thing about knowing Jesus is that we are never alone, and He will never leave us. How cool is it to know that we will literally always have a friend, always have someone loving us, always have someone looking out for us. Naturally though, we want to forge our own path. We want to discover our great adventure and go out on our business with relying on Jesus to get us through. Like Peyton, we don't want to fully trust something or give ourselves fully to someone. But we need to realize that can and should fully trust Christ. We must give our life over to him completely and completely trust him to do what is right for us. Now this by no means mean that I am telling you this and not doing it myself. Honestly, this is really hard for me. From school to relationships, I constantly want to fight God tooth and nail and make my own decisions instead of giving my heart fully to Christ and letting him direct my path. A year ago, about this time, I was really involved and participating in training to become a YoungLife leader. I wanted to go out and preach the message to middle and high schoolers in hope that they would choose to follow Jesus. As this process progressed, I felt more and more like this was something that maybe I was not meant to do. Something just felt wrong about it, so I started praying about it. I was able to give that problem to God so that he could help me make the decision. Long story short, God showed me that it was not my path. I was, and am supposed to volunteer at the church I go to, Blue Ridge Church and help with Sunday school. I may never know why God did not choose me to be a YoungLife leader, but I am so thankful that I gave that problem over to him and He helped me make the right decision. Who knows where I would if I have become a YoungLife leader. God also made sure that through this decision I would not lose friends. I am still friends with every single person I made during that training and that Christian support chain has been life altering. Giving our problems over to God completely is very hard for us to do. But when we do it, it is liberating and works to bring us closer to God. Have a great day people, God is rooting for you!
BTW - I love post season 4 Brook Davis the most. :)
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
A Beloved Teacher
This week, Virginia Tech lost a beloved Professor.
Not only was this man a great teacher who devoted a huge amount of time to his students, but he was generally a funny guy. Lecture was never a dull moment, and being a retired police officer, he was able to relate lessons to real life situations.
I can't help but think that God wants me to look at this situation and realize how minimal my problems are. I am lucky enough to have an amazing family and friend structure, what more do I really need? Of course school is stressful, and I put a lot of stress on myself, but what really matters in life is something that God gives me everyday. God wakes me up, loves me unconditionally, and then it is up to me to decide to have a good attitude or not, and it is my decision to live my life to the fullest each day or not. My little tits and tats over how big my thighs are, or complaining about my singleness is so trivial. My professor left behind a family and community who must pick up the pieces that he was holding together.
If you have a moment today, think about how small problems are trivial and maybe even make a list about them. Circle the problems are important and cross out the problems that are not worth it. Live life to the fullest every chance you get. And finally, please send out a prayer for all the people who are dealing with this tragic loss. God Bless, have a wonderful day.
Not only was this man a great teacher who devoted a huge amount of time to his students, but he was generally a funny guy. Lecture was never a dull moment, and being a retired police officer, he was able to relate lessons to real life situations.
I can't help but think that God wants me to look at this situation and realize how minimal my problems are. I am lucky enough to have an amazing family and friend structure, what more do I really need? Of course school is stressful, and I put a lot of stress on myself, but what really matters in life is something that God gives me everyday. God wakes me up, loves me unconditionally, and then it is up to me to decide to have a good attitude or not, and it is my decision to live my life to the fullest each day or not. My little tits and tats over how big my thighs are, or complaining about my singleness is so trivial. My professor left behind a family and community who must pick up the pieces that he was holding together.
If you have a moment today, think about how small problems are trivial and maybe even make a list about them. Circle the problems are important and cross out the problems that are not worth it. Live life to the fullest every chance you get. And finally, please send out a prayer for all the people who are dealing with this tragic loss. God Bless, have a wonderful day.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Being Beautiful
What is the first thing that you think of when I type the word "Beautiful"?
Seriously.
The first word that comes to my mind is "conceited". How stupid is that.
I am pretty sure I have said this before, but I am single and I struggle with my outward appearance. When I look in the mirror I don't see a beautiful girl in front of me and I am always picking out the flaws in myself. This past week my friend and I were walking out of a dining hall on campus and a really attractive boy that we have met once or twice walked past us. My friend immediately said, "why don't you date him?" My first thought wasn't "oh yeah maybe" it was "you really think I have a chance dating someone that attractive?". Comparing myself to this other attractive person, I did not see myself as being physically attractive enough to someone else. I am constantly worried about my big thighs, crooked nose, whether my hair is looking nice enough and whether you can see the pimple on my cheek. Why is beauty such a hard thing to grasp? As women we always seem to be reaching for this beauty ideal, but I am a woman of God and built in his image so beauty doesn't even begin to describe me.
Conceited means using your beauty, all I need to do is to change my mind to believe that I am beautiful. This may not even apply to you, and if that is the case then you are extremely lucky, but if this does apply to you, there is a 100% chance you are beautiful. It does not matter what our insecurities are, what matters is how God made us beautiful so for us to believe that we are not beautiful is, in a way, caving into beliefs that the devil has placed in our heads. God is beautiful, we are beautiful, and let's let the light of Christ shine through us so that we can show the world our beauty.
Seriously.
The first word that comes to my mind is "conceited". How stupid is that.
I am pretty sure I have said this before, but I am single and I struggle with my outward appearance. When I look in the mirror I don't see a beautiful girl in front of me and I am always picking out the flaws in myself. This past week my friend and I were walking out of a dining hall on campus and a really attractive boy that we have met once or twice walked past us. My friend immediately said, "why don't you date him?" My first thought wasn't "oh yeah maybe" it was "you really think I have a chance dating someone that attractive?". Comparing myself to this other attractive person, I did not see myself as being physically attractive enough to someone else. I am constantly worried about my big thighs, crooked nose, whether my hair is looking nice enough and whether you can see the pimple on my cheek. Why is beauty such a hard thing to grasp? As women we always seem to be reaching for this beauty ideal, but I am a woman of God and built in his image so beauty doesn't even begin to describe me.
Conceited means using your beauty, all I need to do is to change my mind to believe that I am beautiful. This may not even apply to you, and if that is the case then you are extremely lucky, but if this does apply to you, there is a 100% chance you are beautiful. It does not matter what our insecurities are, what matters is how God made us beautiful so for us to believe that we are not beautiful is, in a way, caving into beliefs that the devil has placed in our heads. God is beautiful, we are beautiful, and let's let the light of Christ shine through us so that we can show the world our beauty.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Captivating
I just have to share this amazing life changing book that I have been reading this past week and it is called Captivating, written by John and Stasi Eldredge. For those of you who are unfamiliar of what this book is about, it is written from a Christain mindset about how a woman is truly captivating even though she struggles with herself.
Quite honestly, I have struggled with my looks for years. I am hardly ever minutely satisfied with what I see in the mirror when I look at myself each morning. I blame myself for the fact that I am desperately single, and crave some sort of greater adventure in my life. The great thing about all these problems is that God helps us through every single one of them. We are all made in the image of God, so God treasures our exterior beauty even though he doesn't have too. God is constantly pursuing us, wanting a close relationship full of love.
At the end of it all, God doesn't care if I have a little bigger thighs or if my hair is perfect before my 8am class, God cares if I love him back. Jesus died for my sins and died so that I could have a relationship with God... I mean how cool is that??
It suddenly seems like maybe my looks don't matter too much, maybe a thigh gap isn't that big a deal. Its some pretty powerful stuff.
Quite honestly, I have struggled with my looks for years. I am hardly ever minutely satisfied with what I see in the mirror when I look at myself each morning. I blame myself for the fact that I am desperately single, and crave some sort of greater adventure in my life. The great thing about all these problems is that God helps us through every single one of them. We are all made in the image of God, so God treasures our exterior beauty even though he doesn't have too. God is constantly pursuing us, wanting a close relationship full of love.
At the end of it all, God doesn't care if I have a little bigger thighs or if my hair is perfect before my 8am class, God cares if I love him back. Jesus died for my sins and died so that I could have a relationship with God... I mean how cool is that??
It suddenly seems like maybe my looks don't matter too much, maybe a thigh gap isn't that big a deal. Its some pretty powerful stuff.
Monday, September 23, 2013
With Love in Our Hearts
Consider this past year for a moment with me.
We have had the Sandy Hook tragedy, the Colorado movie theatre shooting, and most recently the Navy Yard shooting. My heart and prayers go out to all of the victims, their families, and the communities affected.
In some cases the shooter had previously been diagnosed with some mental problem, and therefore should not have continued on their current path. In Colorado, extremely close to my hometown, James Holmes was analyzed at CU before he committed his act and the analysis came back that something was wrong with him, emotionally. With the Navy Yard shooting, Aaron Alexsis had been cited as "hearing voices in his head". We can play the 'what it' game but that won't get us anywhere. Their lives stayed on that wrong path, and that has effected the rest of us.
It can be frustrating. The brokenness in this world is sometimes so evident and I feel as though we have to take this as a sign from God that we must pursue those lost people, and that we must constantly remember to lead out lives with love.
As a Christian single college girl, I am drawn to selfishness. I will be the first one to admit that I am not perfect and I struggle to love everyone around me. But after events like these, I must remember to show a type of love to everyone I meet. I am not talking about romantic love or anything like that, but Christian love. Christian love for our brothers and sisters.
Luke 6:35
"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.
We must learn to love. To love is to heal and maybe by loving more people their hearts will also change and maybe, just maybe, they will want to reciprocate the love that was shown to them.
When it comes to pursing lost people, its a hard path. Sometimes they are resistant, and you have to wonder if leading a person to church is enough. This topic is for another place and another time, and possibly someone more qualified.
As far as I am concerned, if we were to show love to just one more person a day, things might start changing, lives might start evolving, Jesus Christ might be coming to more people. Love each, love yourself.
I am done being on my soapbox for the day. I love you all, and as of today that is officially 13 of you who have taken the time to read this. Thank you, I love you. Have a great rest of your day, God Bless.
We have had the Sandy Hook tragedy, the Colorado movie theatre shooting, and most recently the Navy Yard shooting. My heart and prayers go out to all of the victims, their families, and the communities affected.
In some cases the shooter had previously been diagnosed with some mental problem, and therefore should not have continued on their current path. In Colorado, extremely close to my hometown, James Holmes was analyzed at CU before he committed his act and the analysis came back that something was wrong with him, emotionally. With the Navy Yard shooting, Aaron Alexsis had been cited as "hearing voices in his head". We can play the 'what it' game but that won't get us anywhere. Their lives stayed on that wrong path, and that has effected the rest of us.
It can be frustrating. The brokenness in this world is sometimes so evident and I feel as though we have to take this as a sign from God that we must pursue those lost people, and that we must constantly remember to lead out lives with love.
As a Christian single college girl, I am drawn to selfishness. I will be the first one to admit that I am not perfect and I struggle to love everyone around me. But after events like these, I must remember to show a type of love to everyone I meet. I am not talking about romantic love or anything like that, but Christian love. Christian love for our brothers and sisters.
Luke 6:35
"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.
We must learn to love. To love is to heal and maybe by loving more people their hearts will also change and maybe, just maybe, they will want to reciprocate the love that was shown to them.
When it comes to pursing lost people, its a hard path. Sometimes they are resistant, and you have to wonder if leading a person to church is enough. This topic is for another place and another time, and possibly someone more qualified.
As far as I am concerned, if we were to show love to just one more person a day, things might start changing, lives might start evolving, Jesus Christ might be coming to more people. Love each, love yourself.
I am done being on my soapbox for the day. I love you all, and as of today that is officially 13 of you who have taken the time to read this. Thank you, I love you. Have a great rest of your day, God Bless.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Peace
Looking back on the blog I have to wonder... Where the heck have I been the past few weeks?? Well my life received an upset two weeks ago. It all started on a Wednesday night. Going to a YoungLife cookout, I of course enjoyed a hotdog and some chips as well as company from some of my closest friends. I thought I was in clear, and took the time to reconnect with people. Not 30 minutes after eating that hotdog my stomach started hurting, and boy was that a blessing.
Honestly, I do not have a high pain tolerance, and the worst way to be sick in my opinion, is to be sick to your stomach. That night, the pain increased. I managed to get back to my dorm with my stomach bloated to the max, and a pain that was almost unbearable. The worst part was, was that I could not pass gas and I would go through periods of time when I was feeling extremely nauseous. This feeling lasted all through the night, and I woke up the next morning with the pain more intense than ever. Wanting to put on a brave face, I got ready and started the trek across campus from the residential side to the academic side. The pain in my stomach had migrated and was now at a central location; my lower right abdomen. For those of you who do not know, just like I didn't know until I used WebMD, that is exactly where your pesky little appendix is located.
Flash forward a few hours, a few frantic phone calls to my mothers, and a few tears shed, I was done with classes and heading to the health center on campus to get an official diagnosis. My mother told me not to freak out and just to go see what the doctor said, my grandmother thought that it was just constipation. So I dragged my friend Katie along me for moral support as I went to the campus. About an hour later, and 4 tests later, the doctor pulled aside and said that I needed to go to the emergency room ASAP because of possible appendicitis. He offered to have the ambulance drive me over, but Katie and her boyfriend Matt were kind enough to offer a ride so I took it.
The ride over to the hospital was literally almost life changing. Not only did I get at least 5 phone calls from friends who were supporting me, but I got phone calls from their parents. Parents that were offering to drive to Blacksburg and be with me while I was healing if it turned out to be appendicitis. That kindness can only be described as one thing; the work of God.
Getting into the ER, I had to have the same tests tested again, as well as being poked and prodded multiple times in order to get an IV. I also started drinking contrast for my CT scan later. Then my posse arrived. The best friends I could ever ask for took turns showing up and crowding my ER room. A mother of one of my friends also ended up showing up and stayed with me all the way through the prep room and right up until I was taken into surgery.
But let's now get ahead of ourselves here. So I am in the ER, surrounded by love and support, feeling pain and fear. But I was not as fearful as I should have been. This is where God gave me another gift of internal peace. Somehow He managed to use my friends to calm me down and just help me feel the love that came off of them. After the CT scan, it was determined that I indeed had appendicitis and needed an appendectomy that night. (Praise the Lord for a stomach ache!) So I talked to the doctor, nurses, surgeon, surgeon assistant, and the anesthesiologist, and next thing I know I am being prepped for surgery. My friends helped me keep my own family back home in Colorado in the loop and for that I am so grateful.
After my friends say a prayer over me, 2 hours later I am being rolled down the hallway into the prep room before surgery. My friends mother was kind enough to say another prayer and then about one and a half hours later, I am waking up in the recovery room.
The rest of the night was spent with three close friends in a hospital room, and I have been healing ever since.
The biggest thing that I could ever take away from this would have to be kindness and inner peace. The kindness that my friends and their families showed me over that 48 hours literally changed my life. I could cry just thinking about it right now. They would have moved mountains for me if I needed it. They talked to my mother, grandmother and best friends from back home to keep everyone in the loop. I am beyond blessed to have these people in my life. Thank you guys. God showed me that kindness to show me how I should be. I had been praying about how I wanted to see God more evidently in my life, and well it just doesn't get more evident than this. God wants the best for us, and one of the best traits that we can acquire is kindness. I now know that kindness will move mountains, and now I know kindness will also kill fear.
The inner peace that God gave me during my appendicitis fiasco was remarkable. However He did it, I managed to crack jokes with every nurse and surgeon who came in to give me news I didn't want to hear. I thank God for providing me with that because it would have been a much more painful experience if I didn't have that.
In your life, please use as much kindness as you can, it really does make a difference. I should also be back up and running enough to post things without such a lengthy time gap.
Honestly, I do not have a high pain tolerance, and the worst way to be sick in my opinion, is to be sick to your stomach. That night, the pain increased. I managed to get back to my dorm with my stomach bloated to the max, and a pain that was almost unbearable. The worst part was, was that I could not pass gas and I would go through periods of time when I was feeling extremely nauseous. This feeling lasted all through the night, and I woke up the next morning with the pain more intense than ever. Wanting to put on a brave face, I got ready and started the trek across campus from the residential side to the academic side. The pain in my stomach had migrated and was now at a central location; my lower right abdomen. For those of you who do not know, just like I didn't know until I used WebMD, that is exactly where your pesky little appendix is located.
Flash forward a few hours, a few frantic phone calls to my mothers, and a few tears shed, I was done with classes and heading to the health center on campus to get an official diagnosis. My mother told me not to freak out and just to go see what the doctor said, my grandmother thought that it was just constipation. So I dragged my friend Katie along me for moral support as I went to the campus. About an hour later, and 4 tests later, the doctor pulled aside and said that I needed to go to the emergency room ASAP because of possible appendicitis. He offered to have the ambulance drive me over, but Katie and her boyfriend Matt were kind enough to offer a ride so I took it.
The ride over to the hospital was literally almost life changing. Not only did I get at least 5 phone calls from friends who were supporting me, but I got phone calls from their parents. Parents that were offering to drive to Blacksburg and be with me while I was healing if it turned out to be appendicitis. That kindness can only be described as one thing; the work of God.
Getting into the ER, I had to have the same tests tested again, as well as being poked and prodded multiple times in order to get an IV. I also started drinking contrast for my CT scan later. Then my posse arrived. The best friends I could ever ask for took turns showing up and crowding my ER room. A mother of one of my friends also ended up showing up and stayed with me all the way through the prep room and right up until I was taken into surgery.
But let's now get ahead of ourselves here. So I am in the ER, surrounded by love and support, feeling pain and fear. But I was not as fearful as I should have been. This is where God gave me another gift of internal peace. Somehow He managed to use my friends to calm me down and just help me feel the love that came off of them. After the CT scan, it was determined that I indeed had appendicitis and needed an appendectomy that night. (Praise the Lord for a stomach ache!) So I talked to the doctor, nurses, surgeon, surgeon assistant, and the anesthesiologist, and next thing I know I am being prepped for surgery. My friends helped me keep my own family back home in Colorado in the loop and for that I am so grateful.
After my friends say a prayer over me, 2 hours later I am being rolled down the hallway into the prep room before surgery. My friends mother was kind enough to say another prayer and then about one and a half hours later, I am waking up in the recovery room.
The rest of the night was spent with three close friends in a hospital room, and I have been healing ever since.
The biggest thing that I could ever take away from this would have to be kindness and inner peace. The kindness that my friends and their families showed me over that 48 hours literally changed my life. I could cry just thinking about it right now. They would have moved mountains for me if I needed it. They talked to my mother, grandmother and best friends from back home to keep everyone in the loop. I am beyond blessed to have these people in my life. Thank you guys. God showed me that kindness to show me how I should be. I had been praying about how I wanted to see God more evidently in my life, and well it just doesn't get more evident than this. God wants the best for us, and one of the best traits that we can acquire is kindness. I now know that kindness will move mountains, and now I know kindness will also kill fear.
The inner peace that God gave me during my appendicitis fiasco was remarkable. However He did it, I managed to crack jokes with every nurse and surgeon who came in to give me news I didn't want to hear. I thank God for providing me with that because it would have been a much more painful experience if I didn't have that.
In your life, please use as much kindness as you can, it really does make a difference. I should also be back up and running enough to post things without such a lengthy time gap.
Isaiah 54:10
Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Love
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails ... (NIV)
Love is such a complex word. Have you ever really taken the time to sit and think about it? It explains so many feelings and can mean so many different things to different people. It can describe feelings between you and ice cream, and even describe feelings between you and another human being.
I expected to come into college last year and find love, the type of romantic love that comes from a man. I am a die hard romantic and wanted to be swept up off my feet by that amazing tall dark and handsome man who sits mysteriously in the back of the class. Looking back I now know why that didn't happen. God wanted to get close to me again. I had lost him for a little while back at the end of high school and ended up viewing praying as just a chore that I needed to do every night and I probably didn't look upon God with enough love.
God gave the most crucial thing up in his life, his son Jesus Christ, to show how much he loved me. The fact that I am on Earth wanting to be pursued by a man who is not God is so selfish because if I would take the time to look behind me, there is God constantly pursuing a relationship with me, wanting to love me, and wanting to be there just like he always has.
So last year I got the opportunity to make life long friends and grow closer to God through a weekly service at Blue Ridge Church, and through a campus outreach program here at Virginia Tech called YoungLife. I regret nothing from last year and realized that I needed to do too much with myself to handle another person in my life, on the romantic level.
It is officially the second day of classes here at school and I find myself desperately grasping for love. I want to fall in love so bad and look at girls who attract men instantly and get jealous. I wonder if it's so ridiculous to just want a guy to hold my hand, tell me I am beautiful, and who will always be a phone call away. But then I get more specific.... I want a man who loves and knows Jesus because I truly believe that if a relationship between a man and a woman is centered around God than it almost can't fail and will prove to provide the strongest bonds. And of course I need a man who can handle my complex mood swings and tendency to constantly want to laugh.
I know what I have to do in this situation but sadly that does not make it any easier. I have to completely give this over to God. I have relinquish all of wants and needs in all my life, but especially in this area to God. I have to let Him lead me towards this guy I want in my life. And if that time for me to fall in love is not right now, I need to just accept it and trust that God's plan is better than any plan I have for my life.
This romantic love that I crave is not of the sexual kind which is also why I need to give this up to God. I have pledged that I will only be with one man, and that man is my husband. I don't crave the relationships that last only a month and are purely physical.
I push you to think about what you crave. Is it a commitment between a man a woman? Is it a relationship that would be helpful in your relationship with God? Is it something that will inhibit you, or help you grow.
As I look to my future, I pray so hard that the love that I want so badly is there and in the meantime I just have to trust in God, that when the time comes I will be ready. For now, single ready to mingle me, will just have to focus on growing my relationship with the most important man in my life, Jesus Christ.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails ... (NIV)
Love is such a complex word. Have you ever really taken the time to sit and think about it? It explains so many feelings and can mean so many different things to different people. It can describe feelings between you and ice cream, and even describe feelings between you and another human being.
I expected to come into college last year and find love, the type of romantic love that comes from a man. I am a die hard romantic and wanted to be swept up off my feet by that amazing tall dark and handsome man who sits mysteriously in the back of the class. Looking back I now know why that didn't happen. God wanted to get close to me again. I had lost him for a little while back at the end of high school and ended up viewing praying as just a chore that I needed to do every night and I probably didn't look upon God with enough love.
God gave the most crucial thing up in his life, his son Jesus Christ, to show how much he loved me. The fact that I am on Earth wanting to be pursued by a man who is not God is so selfish because if I would take the time to look behind me, there is God constantly pursuing a relationship with me, wanting to love me, and wanting to be there just like he always has.
So last year I got the opportunity to make life long friends and grow closer to God through a weekly service at Blue Ridge Church, and through a campus outreach program here at Virginia Tech called YoungLife. I regret nothing from last year and realized that I needed to do too much with myself to handle another person in my life, on the romantic level.
It is officially the second day of classes here at school and I find myself desperately grasping for love. I want to fall in love so bad and look at girls who attract men instantly and get jealous. I wonder if it's so ridiculous to just want a guy to hold my hand, tell me I am beautiful, and who will always be a phone call away. But then I get more specific.... I want a man who loves and knows Jesus because I truly believe that if a relationship between a man and a woman is centered around God than it almost can't fail and will prove to provide the strongest bonds. And of course I need a man who can handle my complex mood swings and tendency to constantly want to laugh.
I know what I have to do in this situation but sadly that does not make it any easier. I have to completely give this over to God. I have relinquish all of wants and needs in all my life, but especially in this area to God. I have to let Him lead me towards this guy I want in my life. And if that time for me to fall in love is not right now, I need to just accept it and trust that God's plan is better than any plan I have for my life.
This romantic love that I crave is not of the sexual kind which is also why I need to give this up to God. I have pledged that I will only be with one man, and that man is my husband. I don't crave the relationships that last only a month and are purely physical.
I push you to think about what you crave. Is it a commitment between a man a woman? Is it a relationship that would be helpful in your relationship with God? Is it something that will inhibit you, or help you grow.
As I look to my future, I pray so hard that the love that I want so badly is there and in the meantime I just have to trust in God, that when the time comes I will be ready. For now, single ready to mingle me, will just have to focus on growing my relationship with the most important man in my life, Jesus Christ.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Welcome!
Well hello digital world! If for some reason, I am ever lucky enough to have a real online viewer it is completely God's will. I think over the past few months I have been called to share my experiences, and this blog seems the right way to do it. There has to be single Christian girls out there living in a college world, and trying their very best to follow Jesus in every aspect of their life. That is a category that I put myself in. As a sophomore in college, I find myself a single ready to mingle, political science major, and a woman who has a great church community on campus and a past full of baggage. In this blog I hope by sharing some of my experiences, maybe God's will be able to reach more girls who are in a similar situation than me, or maybe are just curious, or maybe just happen to stumble upon this blog. If you have any questions or comments at all, please leave them at the bottom of the page. I will embrace any and all comments. I pray that even if this blog is not for you, that God blesses you in all your future endeavors and I hope I will be updating this blog every few days.
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